We all have decisions to make constantly in our lives, some small,
some big, and some more important than others. As a Campus Pastor at the
world’s largest Christian university, I have many students asking me for help
in making life decisions. They want to know which major to declare, which
vocational path to pursue, which options to choose regarding internships, whether
or not they should marry their significant other, etc.. I find myself sharing a
model of God-honoring decision making that I have used over the years.
My wife and I made some big decisions ourselves recently regarding
my change of employment, our relocation, and transitioning from living in a
parsonage house to renting a house to buying a house. We are God-fearing people
who try to make God-honoring decisions and we need help going about it. When it
comes to decision making I do my best to look through a biblical lens as a born
again Christ-follower. I walk through the following eight steps like a road map
for God-honoring decision making and maybe you can benefit from them as well.
1) Pray to God (& fast), trusting Him throughout the
process.
2) Seek relevant knowledge and understanding.
3) Seek biblical-based discernment.
4) Seek wisdom from God, His Word, & God-honoring
people.
5) Analyze and compare information/options.
6) Wait on the Lord, be patient.
7) Ask God for increased living faith in Him.
8) Go ahead, when the timing is right, make the decision for
the glory of God.
1) Pray to God (&
fast), trusting Him throughout the process.
Prayer may seem cliché among some folks but it’s absolutely
necessary. Christians should be praying to God not just to get help with our
requests but to cultivate our spiritual intimacy with God, to grow our
spiritual lives, to show our dependence on God, and to worship the One and only
true God, our Savior and Lord.
Praying to God is vital in our relationship with Him and in making
God-honoring decisions.
Ephesians 6:18a ESV praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.
Phili. 4:6-7 ESV do
not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication
with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And
the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and
your minds in Christ Jesus.
James 5:16b NLT The earnest prayer of a righteous person has
great power and produces wonderful results.
Be a student of prayer. Keep learning about prayer from
God’s Word and engage regularly in prayer, including planned quality moments as
well as spontaneous moments throughout your day and night. Pray specifically as
the Lord leads. Saturate your life and decision making processing with
God-honoring prayer.
Example statement prayers: God, show me whether or not I
should be looking for a different job. God, reveal to me any red flags in your
eyes about this job offer before me now. God, clarify in my heart if this is
the person that I should propose marriage to and commit to in marriage the rest
of my life.
Be careful about hindrances to effective prayer like unconfessed
sin (Ps. 66:18) and praying amiss with the wrong motives (Jam. 4:3) and not praying
according to God’s will (1 John 5:14).
Since I often associate fasting for spiritual purposes with
prayer, consider going without food (or another important item in your life) to
grow your spiritual hunger in God and the things of God showing God that you
are serious about Him hearing your prayers and answering them, all for His
glory. I have fasted many times over the bigger decisions in my life and it
helped grow my dependence on the Lord and grow closer to Him.
2) Seek relevant
knowledge and understanding.
Clarify and define the actual decision you are
facing and then gather key information.
Knowledge is about facts, data, and information. Do
research, learn, and gather knowledge related to the subject of your decision. If
you are deciding whether or not to ask a person to marry you then don’t just
waste time with him or her doing and talking about trivial things. Ask
questions and observe things that are pertinent to the possibility of you
spending the rest of your life together as a married couple. For example, Where
do you see yourself in 5, 15, 20 years? What are the things that you highly value
in life? What are your spiritual beliefs? Who is Jesus Christ to you? How has
God wired you for ministry and vocation? What are you passion about in life?
How would you describe marriage? Do you want to be a parent? If so, how many
kids would you like to have and why?
Ask yourself, what important knowledge is needed related to
the decision that needs to be made? Ask others what you should be learning and
understanding in relation to your decision. Perhaps you can communicate with
someone who has made a similar decision before.
Keep your scope of research relevant to what’s helpful in
making the decision and realize that you don’t need to know everything to make
a decision. As you gather relevant knowledge organize it and order it according
to priority. Seek to understand relevant knowledge that can be useful to you in
the decision making process and in moving forward once you make the decision.
Some of the relevant knowledge you should be
gathering may relate to how God has wired you for life, work, and ministry for
His glory. For example, What spiritual gift(s) has He given you? What talents,
skills/abilities do you have? Strengths? Weaknesses? Your personality?
Experiences?
Be curious. Ask a lot of questions. Ask God
in prayer to help you gather relevant knowledge and understanding for your
decision at hand.
Proverbs
10:14 ESV The wise lay up knowledge,
but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near.
Proverbs
2:6 ESV For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come
knowledge and understanding;
I’ll write about wisdom in a separate step. For now,
concentrate on gathering relevant knowledge and seeking to understand that
knowledge and what has value to you.
3) Seek Biblical-based
discernment.
What I mean by discernment is being able to distinguish
between right and wrong and deem what is worthy in the eyes of God and what is
not. God’s Word contains truth from God that provides us a moral compass in
life. When it comes to decision making, if God’s Word declares something is
wrong in His eyes then don’t chose sin, don’t chose to go against God’s Word
and will for you.
If you are considering a job opportunity with a higher
paying job living in a more preferable city, but the employer has a reputation
of unethical practice then say no. If you are a single maturing Christ-follower
and wondering if you should date a nonbeliever you are attracted to, don’t date
this person. I’ve done this before. It’s the wrong decision.
Don’t compromise when it comes to biblical principles for
God’s people today. Obedience to God is essential. Even Jesus emphasized
submission to the will of God the Father (Mt. 6:10, Lk. 22:42).
Bible verses related to discernment:
Hebrews 5:14 ESV But
solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment
trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.
Romans 12:2 ESV Do
not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind,
that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and
acceptable and perfect.
Ephesians 5:10 ESV and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.
See also Prov. 14:8, 1 John 4:1.
Here are some other principles to consider related to
discernment:
Be a person of God-honoring integrity (Prov. 10:9,
22:1).
Honestly consider warning signs (Prov. 10:17, 27:6).
Learn from past decisions and experiences. Do you
have a pattern of behavior and decision making that is not good? Learn from
past mistakes (Prov. 26:11). Redeem failures for good.
Be careful about your association with evil and wrongdoing (1
Thess. 5:22).
If you have doubts on whether something is right or wrong
then don’t do it until God impresses on your heart more clarity of spiritual
conviction (Rom. 14:21, 23). When in doubt, leave it out.
Consider your heart motives regarding the potential
decision. Honestly assess them (Eccl. 8:5, Prov. 15:28).
Be careful about being blind and naïve by your
emotions and facts. You may be looking to change jobs because your current job
is difficult and you want relief from that so you think the ‘grass is greener’
at a different employer. The truth is that other place of employment is not a
perfect place to work and there are no perfect employees. God may want you to
endure where you are to develop and grow you and to minister to others through
you.
Sometimes you have a choice and neither choice is a sin. In
such cases, God gives you some freedom to make a decision. You can be in His
will with either choice as long as you are seeking to honor Him with your life.
4) Seek Wisdom from
God, His Word, & God-honoring people.
Wisdom is a combination of knowledge, understanding, and
application of valued truth in one’s life. Wisdom is information of value applied
to your life.
Here’s a simple example of practical wisdom at work. There
is some solid knowledge out there that consuming a lot of calories and not
being very physically active will cause most people to gain weight and become
less healthy. I’m in my late 40s and find this sort of information valuable in
my life as I enjoy comfort foods and I’m exercising less than when I was
younger. The wise thing to do is to eat and drink healthier more consistently and
only consume the junk food stuff occasionally as special treats and I need to be
physically active regularly. This is wisdom and when I actually apply such
valued knowledge to my life I’m being wise.
We all lack wisdom. We all need wisdom. Thankfully, God
generously gives wisdom to those who ask Him for some (in faith; Jam. 1:5-6;
Prov. 2:6). God-honoring wisdom can come directly from God like by way of the
Holy Spirit but often comes from God through His Word and through people,
especially God-honoring people.
Psalm
119:105 ESV Your word is a lamp to my
feet and a light to my path.
Prov. 19:20 ESV Listen to advice and accept instruction,
that you may gain wisdom in the future.
Prov. 1:5 ESV Let
the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain
guidance,
See also Prov. 13:20, 2:1-15, 16:16, 3:21-22.
It’s wise to consider first what’s important to God then
consider what’s important to you. Search the Scriptures for wisdom. What can you
learn from God’s Word related to your decision at hand? What does God’s Word
reveal related to your decision?
Consider your overall purpose in life and the
spiritual implications of your decision. Seek to know God better and better as
your Savior and Lord, become more like Christ in character and in
conduct/mission, and glorify God. How will your decision affect your spiritual
life and impact the lives of others? Christ followers are salt and light in
Christ in this world, ambassadors for Christ, instruments of righteousness. Consider
how you can make a greater impact on advancing the kingdom purposes of Christ.
If God’s word is silent in relation to your decision at hand
then offer up your God-honoring desire before the Lord. Ps. 37:4 ESV Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of
your heart.
This verse doesn’t mean God gives us everything and anything
we want. Our desires need to line up with His will and His glory. This is more
likely to happen when you are consistently submitting your life to Christ and
are filled with the Holy Spirit. God cares about the desires of your heart when
you are delighting in Him, glorifying Him, and depending on Him. God blesses
God-honoring desires.
Seek wise counsel from others. There are times when we need
someone else’s help in processing the different aspects of a decision to be
made whether a second opinion or an expert opinion. Consider God-honoring
leaders in your life. Perhaps a local church pastor, a parent, a teacher or
coach; someone to help you confirm and/or remove some inclinations and doubts
you have. I have reached out to many people over the years for wisdom; like my
wife, dad, mom, pastor, friends and co-workers in ministry. You need sound
God-honoring advice not just something said that you want to hear. And of
course, if you are married, your bigger decisions should be discussed and
processed together.
5) Analyze and compare
information/options.
(i.e. cost/benefit analysis, pros & cons, + & -,
strengths & weaknesses)
When I make bigger decisions I like to analyze and compare
relevant information by comparing the positives and negatives related to the
decision. This usually includes two columns on a paper or in a table in a word
processor program. One column includes the factual and perceived positive
things if I make a certain decision. The other column includes the factual and perceived
negative things if I make a certain decision. My wife and I did this before we
committed to buying our current house. First, we compared staying in our rental
house to relocating and buying a house (via mortgage). When we moved forward
looking for a house to buy, we found two prospective houses that rose to the
top of our list and we did a comparison analysis between the two. And when we
became very interested in one particular house then we created a strengths and
weaknesses comparison related to our decision on whether or not to move forward
in buying this particular house. Here’s a shortened example of the
strengths/weaknesses comparison:
House/Property Strengths
|
House/Property Weaknesses
|
4th sleeping area bedroom space
|
Lots of traffic/road noise
|
Bedford County; lower taxes than Lynchburg city
|
Distance to work and church is 10 miles one way;
further/longer than we are used to or prefer
|
Long, fairly flat, large fenced-in back yard
|
Carpet in sleeping areas includes many stains, and is very
worn beyond repair
|
Newer roof; windows on top level; Vinyl siding
|
Paint, clean up needed in sleeping areas and elsewhere in
house
|
The list was a lot longer than this but hopefully you get
the idea. I believe analyzing and comparing information/options is a wise thing
to do in decision making especially regarding bigger decisions. These types of
exercises help give you a realistic picture of your options and potential
decision to make. They help you more honestly assess if the weaknesses can be
lived with or improved upon and if they far outweigh the strengths in the long
run.
Proverbs
14:15 ESV The simple believes
everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps.
Christ commended analyzing, planning, and counting
the cost in decision making (Luke 14:28-32).
Consider outcomes and risks. Prioritize, examine,
and evaluate the information you have gathered.
6) Wait on the Lord,
be patient.
Most bigger decisions in life don’t require an immediate
response. You usually have some time to make the decision and time is often
needed before making a big decision.
Waiting on the Lord, being patient, enduring, and
longsuffering are all God-honoring qualities. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit
(Gal. 5:22) for born again Christ-followers. God wants and expects His people
to be patient, not to impulsively act hastily and foolishly. Often, hasty
decision making brings negative consequences (Prov. 21:5).
Be cautious about the lure of ‘instant gratification.’ We
often want things soon when waiting is often God’s plan for us.
Also, recognize that many things are out of our control; for
example, waiting for a prospective employer to get back to you after the first
interview. You could follow up and show some persistence but you also have to
learn to give some things time. You have to learn to be patient. Having more
time can allow you to spend more time on the steps of God-honoring decision
making. God also will use time to develop us and our dependence on Him. God
knows what’s best for us so we should wait on Him to lead us in decision making.
Psalm
25:5 ESV Lead me in your truth and
teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.
Ps. 27:1 ESV Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your
heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
See also Isa. 40:28-31, Heb. 6:15, Prov. 18:13, 19:2.
7) Ask God for increased
living faith in Him.
A student once came to me asking for some counsel about
deciding between two good paths after he graduates. And I asked which would
take greater faith on his part; staying here for graduate school and student
leadership ministry or raising money and ministering God’s Word in England in a
public school setting. The latter takes more faith and it’s the latter the
student chose. I think God is more pleased with such a decision because greater
faith is needed in moving forward to the England ministry and God is pleased by
our faith in Him.
Hebrews
11:1, 6 ESV Now faith is the assurance of
things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 6 And without faith
it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe
that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.
Christ sent out His disciples two by two to do some
traveling ministry and told them to take very little with them; only a staff,
no bread, no bag, no money, no second tunic, but to wear sandals (Mark 6:7-9).
Christ wanted them to live by faith for basic provisions while on this mission
trip. He noted in the passage that some people they encountered would be
hospitable and others would not. Christ wanted to
test and strengthen their faith as they stepped out of their comfort zones to
minister in His name. So, He took away everything they might depend on other
than the simple clothes on their backs, the sandals on their feet, and the
staffs in their hands. God would ultimately be their provider for everything
they would need to fulfill for what they were sent to do.
There is a saving faith (trusting faith in Christ as your
Savior) and there is a living faith (trusting Christ to be the Lord over the
life). With great living faith in Christ you will depend greater on Christ and
experience diminished fears and insecurities in your flesh.
Ask God to increase your faith in Him. Luke 17:5 ESV The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase
our faith!”
See also Mark 9:24, Rom. 12:3.
Be sure that your decision embraces the necessity of living
faith in God. Taking God-honoring steps of faith in your life decisions will
declare your dependence upon God, grow you in Christ, and please God.
8) Go ahead, when the
timing is right, make the decision for the glory of God.
Sooner or later you make the decision. While trusting God
along the way and giving due diligence to a God-honoring decision making
process there will come a time when you make the decision. If you keep stalling
and don’t make a decision then eventually your indecision is the decision.
When it comes to the right timing, consider any deadlines
and due dates and trust God to impress upon your heart when to actually make
the decision. You may be nervous about the outcome and consequences but that’s
why you place your faith in God and go through a God-honoring decision making
process such as this.
Be confident in Christ knowing that God will continue to
work in and through you His good will.
Philippians
2:13 ESV for it is God who works in
you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
Romans 8:28 ESV And
we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for
those who are called according to his purpose.
Go ahead, make a God-honoring decision when the timing is
right and live for the glory of God.
6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make
straight your paths.
Prov. 3:5-6 ESV
What do you think about this decision making process?
Mike
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