Let’s say that one day my wife asked me what I am thinking
about. I’m tempted to lie to her because I’m embarrassed about what is in my
mind at that moment. However, I am reminded by the Holy Spirit that God’s Word
teaches that it is wrong to lie and I believe it is wrong to lie. This is
spiritual conviction in my heart, the Holy Spirit speaking to and shaping my
moral conscience. This is one of the ministries of the Holy Spirit; to convict,
convince, or reprove (see John 16:8-14, 14:26).
Even though I am convicted spiritually that lying is wrong,
let’s say I lie to my wife. Then, I feel bad about it. I feel guilty. In an objective
sense, there is guilt in the eyes of God toward me because according to God’s
Word I am guilty of sinning, disobeying God (i.e. thou shall not lie). But I
also have feelings/emotions/thoughts of guilt after I lied to my wife. I feel
bad that I sinned against God and her. This is subjective or psychological
guilt. This type of guilt is different for everyone and it may be beneficial to
a degree but it can also be destructive.
There is a time for appropriate guilt feelings that lead to
good, to help, to constructive thinking, behavior and reconciliation. For
example, during an actual sin and soon afterwards you have feelings of
remorseful awareness of having done something wrong (or you omitted something
right) and you seek to make things right, to honor God in moving forward. You learn
to accept that you fail and make mistakes, grow from it, get right with God and
others you sin against, and you live in God’s grace.
There are also inappropriate guilt feelings that some people
experience which include uncomfortable feelings and thoughts of guilt that
linger on when they are not supposed to linger on; or they are way out of
proportion compared to the act. This is destructive to our minds and emotions
and attitudes and actions. If we allow this kind of guilt to linger and
continue it can become a breeding ground for the work of the spiritual enemies
of God and our thoughts and feelings will remain in the flesh instead of in the
Spirit of God.
Here’s an example of inappropriate guilt feelings in my
lying scenario. Man, I have been a Christian for a long time and I’m even a
pastor so, I can’t believe I lied to my wife. I’m such a loser, a failure. What
if I do it again and keep doing it? I’m uncomfortable around her now. I feel so
lousy about lying. This stinks. I’m never good enough. And I’m supposed to be
the spiritual leader in our relationship and set an example to others. Ha! And
on and on I over-analyze that I lied and I feel like garbage emotionally. This
is self-condemnation, self-loathing. This type of guilt we choose to wallow in
is not good, not healthy, not God-honoring, and not of God. It’s focusing on
ourselves and our failures.
There’s a better way to process our sin guilt, the right
way, God’s way. First, I must genuinely confess (agree with God) the sin to God
(and my wife since I sinned against her as well; see James 5:16). Here is
God’s promise to Christ-followers; 1 John 1:9 ESV If we confess our sins, he
is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness. When we confess our sin it must be genuine not saying “I’m
sorry” with some sort of disingenuous attitude to avoid punishment or negative consequences.
We must learn to acknowledge that we will fail and make
mistakes. We are sinners. We sin. We will sin. 1 John 1:8 ESV If we
say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. So,
we must confess our sins.
Confession and forgiveness are tied together in 1 John 1:9. When
we genuinely confess our sin to God He forgives us. When we genuinely confess
our sin to another person we are not given such a promise that they will
forgive us but we should ask for their forgiveness in a loving and respectful
way. When my wife forgives me she is not wiping my sin and objective guilt away
spiritually like only God can do but her forgiveness does help the relationship
I have with my wife to be healthier.
Secondly, when we have godly sorrow, a godly confession, we
need to repent of this sinful behavior. Godly sorrow leads to repentance (see 2
Cor. 7:8-10). If our sorrow is not God-honoring then it is of the flesh, it is
worldly and this kind of sorrow leads to death. Repent at its core means to
turn and to change. Believers’ repentance means to turn away from sin and turn
to the way of righteousness in Christ. I
believe when a Christ-follower sins after conversion he or she should
consciously repent of that sin behavior. 2 Corinthians 12:20-21 is an example
of the importance of Believers’ repentance.
Our hope and joy in life is not found in self-inflicted worldly
guilt. It’s found in Christ through our proper response to Him with faith and
obedience like when we confess our sins to Him and repent of them in a
God-honoring way.
Praise God that Jesus died for all of our sin (1 Peter 3:18). For true Christ followers
Jesus’s atoning death on the cross satisfied God’s wrath upon our sin (1 John
2:2). We are no longer condemned by God’s wrath because we are in Christ. If I
lie to my wife, Jesus paid the penalty for that lie with what He did on the
cross. And when I confess my sin and repent from it God removes that sin from
being an issue with my fellowship with God. He removes that sin from being a
hindrance to my spiritual growth and ministry in God’s name.
Praise God for forgiveness and restoration. This Gospel work
of Christ is great news! This is grace. We do not deserve God’s forgiveness and
the clearing of our objective guilt and restoration to a right fellowship with
Him. His grace is amazing. Christ followers are to live in His grace not in
feelings of self-inflicted worldly guilt.
Let’s accept God’s truth about divine forgiveness and move
forward with God in His peace and joy and grace. There is no reason to have
lingering emotional guilt when we follow God’s plan for getting right with Him.
Don’t let the flesh and enemies of God rob you of God-given joy, peace, grace,
and freedom in Christ.
I don’t mean to make light of your sin and guilt struggles.
I realize that a one-time lie to my wife scenario may seem like small potatoes
to the person who continues to struggle with lust and porn, or
self-centeredness, or pride, or with a drug addiction, etc... But God’s truth
is God’s truth regardless of your guilt struggle. Apply God’s Word to your
struggles, failures, guilt, sin problems. Confess your sin in faith with godly
sorrow and repent to the way of Christ, depending on Him and His power for real
eternally significant deliverance and victory (Gal. 1:3-5, 1 Cor. 15:57).
“The purpose of being
guilty is to bring us to Jesus. Once we are there, then its purpose is
finished. If we continue to make ourselves guilty—to blame ourselves—then that
is sin in itself.” Corrie ten Boom
It is a personal
choice to live in grace or live in guilt. Which are you choosing?
Mike
Quite informative-thanks Mike!
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